1. A pickle, a cucumber and a penis were talking about life. The cucumber said when i get big and hard they chop me up and toss me in a salad. The picke said when i get big and hard they chop me up and drown me in vinegar. The penis says oh yea? thats nothing, when i get big and hard they put a plastic bag over my head, shove me in a dark damp cave and bang my head against the walls until i throw up and faint. 2. Tommy, Joe, and Little Phil were driving down a country road when they came across a sheep that was stuck in a farmers fence. Tommy says i wish i had my gun we'd be eating lamb chops tonight. Joe says yea i wish there wasnt anybody around we could take him for dinner. Then there was a pause and Little Phil says i wish it was dark out..... 3. Mick Jagger said, "Hey you get off of my cloud" The Scots say, "Hey MacLeod get off of my ewe" 4. Bubba's old lady had been pregnant for some time, and now the time had come. He brought her to the doctor, and the doctor began to deliver the baby. She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Bubba and said, "Hey, Bubba! You just had you a son!" Bubba got excited by this, but just then the doctor spoke up and said, "Hold on, son! We ain't finished yet!" The doctor then delivered a little girl. He said, "Hey, Bubba! Hey, you got you a daughter!" Bubba got kind of puzzled by this, and then the doctor says, "Hold on, we still ain't finished!" The doctor then delivered another boy and said, "Bubba, you just had another boy! But don't worry, 'cause that's it!" So, Bubba and his wife went home with the three children. When they got home, they sat down and began talking. Bubba said, "Mama, you remember that night that we ran out of K-Y and we had to use that 3-in-1 Oil?" She said, "Yeah, I do." Bubba said, "Man, it's a good thing we didn't use no WD-40!