DOG FOR SALE : A guy is driving around southern Illinois and he sees a sign in front of a house: 'Talking Dog For Sale 'He rings the bell and the owner, a fellow named Rowdy Rebel, appears and tells him "Dozer is in the backyard". The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking dog sitting there. 'You talk?' he asks. 'Yep,' the dog replies. After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?' The dog looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.' 'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running... But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.' The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks Rowdy what he wants for the dog. 'Ten dollars,' Rowdy says. 'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?' 'Because he's a Bullshitter. He's never been out of Illinois'