Da Night Afo Crizzmus

[Double L]

Wus da night afo' Crizzmus, and all thru da hood,

everybody be sleepin' and da sleepin' be good.

We hunged up our stockins, an hoped like all heck,

dat Obama gunna brang us our checks.

All of da family, was layin' on da flo',

my sister wif her gurlfriend, my brother wif some ho.

Ashtrays was all full, empty beer cans and all

when I heared such a fuss, I thunk...."Sh'eet, must be da law".

I pulled the sheet off da window and what I'ze could see,

I was spectin' the sherrif, wif a warrent fo' me.

But what did I see, made me say, "Lawd look 'a dat!"

Dere was a huge watermelon, pulled by eight big-ass rats.

Now ovah da years, Santy Claws he be white,

but it looks like us brotha's, got a black un' tonight.

Faster than a poe'lice car, my homeboy he came,

and whupped up on dem rats, as he called dem by name.

On Biden, On Jessie, On Pelosi and Hillary Who,

On Fannie, On Freddie, On Ayers, and Slick Willy too.

Obama landed dat melon, right there in da street,

I knowed it fo' sho', - can you believe that Sheet?

Dat Santy didn't need no chimley, he picked da lock on my do',

an I sez to myself, "Son o' bitch..he don did dis befo!"

He had a big bag, full of presents - at first I suspeck?

Wif "Air Jordans" and fake gold, to wear roun' my neck.

But he left me no presents, just started stealin my shit.

He got my guns and my crack, and my new burglers kit.

Den, wif my shit in his bag, out da windo' he flew,

I sho' woulda shanked him, but he snagged my blade too!

He jumped back on dat melon, wif out even a hitch,

and waz gone in two seconds, da democrat sonofabitch.

So nex year I be hopin', a white Santy we git,

'cause a black Santy Claws, just ain't worf a shit!

[Rob]

Wus da night afo' Crizzmus, and all thru da hood,

everybody be sleepin' and da sleepin' be good.

We hunged up our stockins, an hoped like all heck,

dat Obama gunna brang us our checks.

All of da family, was layin' on da flo',

my sister wif her gurlfriend, my brother wif some ho.

Ashtrays was all full, empty beer cans and all

when I heared such a fuss, I thunk...."Sh'eet, must be da law".

I pulled the sheet off da window and what I'ze could see,

I was spectin' the sherrif, wif a warrent fo' me.

But what did I see, made me say, "Lawd look 'a dat!"

Dere was a huge watermelon, pulled by eight big-ass rats.

Now ovah da years, Santy Claws he be white,

but it looks like us brotha's, got a black un' tonight.

Faster than a poe'lice car, my homeboy he came,

and whupped up on dem rats, as he called dem by name.

On Biden, On Jessie, On Pelosi and Hillary Who,

On Fannie, On Freddie, On Ayers, and Slick Willy too.

Obama landed dat melon, right there in da street,

I knowed it fo' sho', - can you believe that Sheet?

Dat Santy didn't need no chimley, he picked da lock on my do',

an I sez to myself, "Son o' bitch..he don did dis befo!"

He had a big bag, full of presents - at first I suspeck?

Wif "Air Jordans" and fake gold, to wear roun' my neck.

But he left me no presents, just started stealin my shit.

He got my guns and my crack, and my new burglers kit.

Den, wif my shit in his bag, out da windo' he flew,

I sho' woulda shanked him, but he snagged my blade too!

He jumped back on dat melon, wif out even a hitch,

and waz gone in two seconds, da democrat sonofabitch.

So nex year I be hopin', a white Santy we git,

'cause a black Santy Claws, just ain't worf a shit!

Damn, I like that. Have to make sure it goes a couple places like our EEO office, and HR dept.

Rob

[Ironman]

That took me forever to read LOL

[Double L]

I forgot some of y'all can't read ebonics.

Don't feel bad I can't read or understand ebonics myself, but I can read and understand that southern redneck dialect just fine and dandy.

[hatcity]

That right there is whats wrong in this country.

If I posted that some places, I would be a racist, white supremcist, whatever.

But if a black man writes/posts it (elsewhere) he is a hero to his heritage.

LL, you have already stated your dislike for those that lve this way, and I commend you for that. Just like the n word. Its a term of endearment to the blacks FROM a black. But me, I'd be called cracker, honkey, blah blah. If not shot.

Sorry for the rant, been up since 4:30 am. Time for bed

She's waiting

[Double L]

That right there is whats wrong in this country.

If I posted that some places, I would be a racist, white supremcist, whatever.

But if a black man writes/posts it (elsewhere) he is a hero to his heritage.

LL, you have already stated your dislike for those that lve this way, and I commend you for that. Just like the n word. Its a term of endearment to the blacks FROM a black. But me, I'd be called cracker, honkey, blah blah. If not shot.

Sorry for the rant, been up since 4:30 am. Time for bed

I agree with ya on that hatcity no doubt. I'm not a hero or nothing like that hell technically I'm a uncle tom coon sell out because I expect stuff to be handed to me. I know I have to earn whatever it is I want/need. I hate the n word myself with a passion I really do. It's not so much black from black but also every other race think they can use the n word as a term of endearment especially my generation. They always quoting rap songs and using the n word on Facebook. It's a pet peeve and major annoyance of mine it really is.

I could really go on about this but I won't.

No need to apologize for the rant Hatcity I know how ya feel.

[other dog]

"Now that's just funny right there, I don't care what nobody says"- Larry the Cable Guy

That's hilarious...even if parts of it reminds me of home.

Did you write that?

Is Larry the Cable Guy your secret identity?

[other dog]

That right there is whats wrong in this country.

If I posted that some places, I would be a racist, white supremcist, whatever.

But if a black man writes/posts it (elsewhere) he is a hero to his heritage.

LL, you have already stated your dislike for those that lve this way, and I commend you for that. Just like the n word. Its a term of endearment to the blacks FROM a black. But me, I'd be called cracker, honkey, blah blah. If not shot.

Sorry for the rant, been up since 4:30 am. Time for bed

She's waiting

you shouldn't have posted that picture...you know how I am, and i'm trying to quit...keep telling myself "do not alter that picture...do not add any captions"...but it's tough.

I'll just add this one.

[Double L]

"Now that's just funny right there, I don't care what nobody says"- Larry the Cable Guy

Now that there is my idol.

[Double L]

you shouldn't have posted that picture...you know how I am, and i'm trying to quit...keep telling myself "do not alter that picture...do not add any captions"...but it's tough>

You could be doing worse things ya know.

[other dog]

You could be doing worse things ya know.

dammit! just the encouragement I needed...and I was well on my way to recovery.

[Double L]

dammit! just the encouragement I needed...and I was well on my way to recovery.

Your welcome! I thought I was helping with your road to recovery.