Popular Post rhasler Posted June 25, 2011 Popular Post Share Posted June 25, 2011 DEMOCRAT You have two cows.Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone. REPUBLICAN You have two cows. Your neighbor has none.So? SOCIALIST You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow. COMMUNIST You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it.It is expensive and sour. CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows. BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE You have two cows. Under the new farm program, the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pour the milk down the drain. AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up. FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine.Life is good JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.Most are at the top of their class at cow school. GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately, they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year. ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch. Life is good. RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You drink some vodka.You count them and learn you have five cows. You drink some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have. TALIBAN CORPORATION You have all the cows in Afghanistan , which are two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons. IRAQI CORPORATION You have two cows. They go into hiding. They send radio tapes of their mooing. POLISH CORPORATION You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them. BELGIAN CORPORATION You have one cow. The cow is schizophrenic.Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish. The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk. The cow asks permission to be cut in half.The cow dies happy. FLORIDA CORPORATION You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best looking cow. CALIFORNIA CORPORATION You have millions of cows. They make real California cheese. Only five speak English. Most are illegal. 3 Quote "Mebbe I'm too ugly and stupid to give up!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Rhasler, that is GREAT and it says it all. How TRUE. mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeavyGunner Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Sad but very true. Quote The problems we face today exist because the people who work for a living are outnumbered by the people who vote for a living.The government can only "give" someone what they first take from another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theakerstwo Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 I think your right Quote glenn akers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
other dog Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Rhasler, that is GREAT and it says it all. How TRUE. mikeIt is! By the way, think i'm moving to Italy. Quote Producer of poorly photo-chopped pictures since 1999. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhasler Posted June 25, 2011 Author Share Posted June 25, 2011 Here's another one Barrack Obama was touring the countryside in his chauffeur-driven limo. Suddenly, a donkey jumps out onto the road, they hit it full on and the car comes to a stop. Obama says to the chauffeur: 'You get out and check, you were driving.' The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead. 'You were driving; go and tell the farmer,' says Obama. Hours later, the chauffeur returns totally plastered,hair ruffled with a big grin on his face. 'My god, what happened to you?' asks Obama. The chauffeur replies: 'When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of whiskey, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter made love to me.' 'What on earth did you say to them?' asks Obama. 'I knocked on the door, and when it was answered, I said to them,'I'm Barrack Obama's chauffeur and I've just killed the jackass. 1 Quote "Mebbe I'm too ugly and stupid to give up!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Baaaa, Baaaa mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
single drive Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Thats some fuunny shit right there. The first is funny because it is true, and the second just makes me laugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randyp Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 heh heh,,had to print both those Rhasler, for future reference, now think I will have glass of wine, life is good,,,randyp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bullhusk Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Teacher asks Lamont; Lamont use before in a sentence... Lamont says HMMMMMM....?????... 2 plus 2 before?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhasler Posted June 26, 2011 Author Share Posted June 26, 2011 On a related note, here's one on economics: Quote "Mebbe I'm too ugly and stupid to give up!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3rdWrightBrother Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 On a related note, here's one on economics: I don't understand Russ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mowerman Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 dont bother him,,he,s on a 4 year world wide vacation Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
single drive Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 That is amusing but it would b alot funnier if it werent so true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.