Rob Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 Illinois vs WisconsinIllinois:The Governor of Illinois is jogging with his dog along a nature trail.A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor.1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi"and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.2. He calls animal control .. Animal Control captures the coyote andbills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills theState $200 testing it for diseases.4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked fordiseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Gameconducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyoteawareness program" for residents of the area.7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treatrabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.8 The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack.The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.9. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suitagainst the State.Wisconsin:The Governor of Wisconsin is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. ACoyote jumps out and attacks the dog.1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his concealed carry pistol and keepsjogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.2. The Crows eat the dead coyote.And that, my friends, is why Illinois is broke and Wisconsin is not. Rob 1 Quote Plodding along with no job nor practical application for my existence, but still trying to fix what's broke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
other dog Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 Illinois vs Wisconsin2. The Crows eat the dead coyote.Rob"buzzard's gotta eat too- same as worms". The Outlaw Josie Wales 1 Quote Producer of poorly photo-chopped pictures since 1999. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob Posted July 7, 2012 Author Share Posted July 7, 2012 "buzzard's gotta eat too- same as worms". The Outlaw Josie WalesYes, but those predators are common in the more "southerly" located states. Around here, hawks take care of the carcasses the crow do not.Rob Quote Plodding along with no job nor practical application for my existence, but still trying to fix what's broke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fxfymn Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 Now reveal the real reason the Illinois Governeor didn't shoot the coyote: They don't allow inmates to have guns! Quote Money, sex, and fire; everybody thinks everyone else is getting more than they are! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olivetroad Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 I know this story is fictional - no self respectin' Wile E. Coyote would lower himself to bite a Illinois Governor - they taste like prison food. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leversole Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 "buzzard's gotta eat too- same as worms". The Outlaw Josie Wales"I am Ten Bears" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
other dog Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 "I am Ten Bears"great movie,eh? Quote Producer of poorly photo-chopped pictures since 1999. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted July 7, 2012 Share Posted July 7, 2012 I liked the Missouri Boat Ride Best.mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RowdyRebel Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 That's why I like it here on THIS end of the state. Dozer spied a coyote stalking us one morning as I pretripped the truck & alerted me to it's presence before laying down in driveway between me & the coyote and watching it like a hawk. As soon as we were on the road, I called over to the Sheriff's dept. and inquired what the law says about what I can or cannot do the next time I find myself in that situation."Just shoot it."OK. That's all I needed to hear. 1 Quote When approaching a 4-way stop, the vehicle with the biggest tires has the right of way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob Posted July 8, 2012 Author Share Posted July 8, 2012 The only rule against coyote hunting around here is be able to hit your target.Rob Quote Plodding along with no job nor practical application for my existence, but still trying to fix what's broke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leversole Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 I liked the Missouri Boat Ride Best.mikeMy favorite line in the whole movie is "...I came here to die WITH you..." F**ked ol' Ten Bears up for a minute! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Captain Terrill: "Not a hard man to track. Leaves dead men wherever he goes"There are a lot good quotes from that movie.................http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0075029/quotes 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
other dog Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 Captain Terrill: "Not a hard man to track. Leaves dead men wherever he goes"There are a lot good quotes from that movie.................http://www.imdb.com/...t0075029/quotesbounty hunter- "I had to come back"Josie- "I know" Quote Producer of poorly photo-chopped pictures since 1999. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fxfymn Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 A reporter in a near by town wrote that someone had watched a coyote kill over 20 fawns in a two week period. If that's true I'll take any coyotes you want to send here! I'm so frigging tired of the deer eating everything we plant. Quote Money, sex, and fire; everybody thinks everyone else is getting more than they are! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.