doubleclutchinweasel Posted May 16, 2023 Share Posted May 16, 2023 Somebody mentioned Foxworthy's "You Might Be a Redneck if..." jokes the other day. I keep one of his calendars on my desk at work. It is surprising how, if you go long enough, EVERYBODY eventually fits one of his sayings. I think I am going to post some of his better ones on this thread from time to time, and see who all will admit to being guilty. One I had the other day said, "If resuming work on your project car would require a lawn mower." Come on now! Substitute the word "truck", and who is guilty of this one? Feel free to add your own or make up new ones. 1 Quote "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Mack Posted May 16, 2023 Share Posted May 16, 2023 Heres one I made up.... "If one or more of your vehicles beeps when it backs up"! Youuu might be a Redneck.... Jojo 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post doubleclutchinweasel Posted May 16, 2023 Author Popular Post Share Posted May 16, 2023 If you mow your yard and find a car... 3 2 Quote "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doubleclutchinweasel Posted May 16, 2023 Author Share Posted May 16, 2023 If you keep an "emergency" beer in your tackle box... 2 Quote "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post doubleclutchinweasel Posted May 16, 2023 Author Popular Post Share Posted May 16, 2023 Don't know if this qualifies or not, but... Back when I was a traveling construction worker, I worked with a guy who wanted to go home one weekend...really, really badly. When I asked him why, he told me, "I've got a young wife and an old car. If I don't get home soon, there's gonna be a rod throwed in both of them." 3 2 Quote "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post doubleclutchinweasel Posted May 16, 2023 Author Popular Post Share Posted May 16, 2023 This is one of mine... If you think a seven-course meal is a 6-pack and a 'possum... 3 5 Quote "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RowdyRebel Posted May 17, 2023 Share Posted May 17, 2023 13 hours ago, doubleclutchinweasel said: Somebody mentioned Foxworthy's "You Might Be a Redneck if..." jokes the other day. I keep one of his calendars on my desk at work. It is surprising how, if you go long enough, EVERYBODY eventually fits one of his sayings. I think I am going to post some of his better ones on this thread from time to time, and see who all will admit to being guilty. One I had the other day said, "If resuming work on your project car would require a lawn mower." Come on now! Substitute the word "truck", and who is guilty of this one? Feel free to add your own or make up new ones. LOL! The '92 Ranger was parked after the main line to the rear brakes burst. It was already lacking a brake line to the front right (drove it 10 or so years like that waiting for a round tuit to come my way), so after crimping that line off I was down to 1 brake...decided I had other vehicles I could be driving, pulled it around back, and shut it off. Anyway, fast forward a couple years and I'm commuting 100 miles per day...and at 10 mpg in the F250 or Suburban, the fuel bill was killing me. So, I did the work & got the brakes working again, new tires, etc...and started driving it, moss and all. Used to joke about needing to get one of those Mossy Oak stickers for the top of the windshield & crossing out the Oak. Then my wife borrowed it one day & the 1st thing she did was run it through a car wash. 😒 Hell, if my Mack sits much longer I'll have to use the chainsaw before I can move it. Damn maple trees around here grow like weeds.🤦♂️ Also have the F250 right in front of the Mack that's waiting for me to replace the timing cover gasket. Have everything I need except time. At least the '86 Ranger is in the garage...buried in the back corner...all it's collecting is dust. 1 Quote When approaching a 4-way stop, the vehicle with the biggest tires has the right of way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doubleclutchinweasel Posted May 17, 2023 Author Share Posted May 17, 2023 8 hours ago, RowdyRebel said: LOL! The '92 Ranger was parked after the main line to the rear brakes burst. It was already lacking a brake line to the front right (drove it 10 or so years like that waiting for a round tuit to come my way), so after crimping that line off I was down to 1 brake...decided I had other vehicles I could be driving, pulled it around back, and shut it off. Anyway, fast forward a couple years and I'm commuting 100 miles per day...and at 10 mpg in the F250 or Suburban, the fuel bill was killing me. So, I did the work & got the brakes working again, new tires, etc...and started driving it, moss and all. Used to joke about needing to get one of those Mossy Oak stickers for the top of the windshield & crossing out the Oak. Then my wife borrowed it one day & the 1st thing she did was run it through a car wash. 😒 Hell, if my Mack sits much longer I'll have to use the chainsaw before I can move it. Damn maple trees around here grow like weeds.🤦♂️ Also have the F250 right in front of the Mack that's waiting for me to replace the timing cover gasket. Have everything I need except time. At least the '86 Ranger is in the garage...buried in the back corner...all it's collecting is dust. Well, you just might...!!! LOL! Quote "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post doubleclutchinweasel Posted May 17, 2023 Author Popular Post Share Posted May 17, 2023 "If your shower handle is a pair of Vise-Grips..." 3 Quote "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post 70mackMB Posted May 17, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted May 17, 2023 When your overnight guest ask to use the bathroom before going to bed, and you hand them a flashlight then point towards the back door............ .....Hippy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doubleclutchinweasel Posted May 17, 2023 Author Share Posted May 17, 2023 If everyone who uses you bathroom comes out with a terrified look on their face... Quote "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post doubleclutchinweasel Posted May 17, 2023 Author Popular Post Share Posted May 17, 2023 "If you've been married 3 times and still have the same in-laws..." 1 3 Quote "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tjc transport Posted May 17, 2023 Share Posted May 17, 2023 If you go to family parties looking for a date.......you may be a redneck.😁 2 Quote when you are up to your armpits in alligators, it is hard to remember you only came in to drain the swamp.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Joey Mack Posted May 17, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted May 17, 2023 After the divorce is settled, you are still brother and sister, youuu might be a redneck... 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tjc transport Posted May 17, 2023 Share Posted May 17, 2023 If your family tree does not branch........ You may be a redneck! 2 Quote when you are up to your armpits in alligators, it is hard to remember you only came in to drain the swamp.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post 70mackMB Posted May 17, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted May 17, 2023 lf you reuse the cover bag off a pallet of wood pellets to cover your gas grill, garden tractor, and/or snow blower. You maybe a frugal Yankee Redneck........ .....Hippy 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doubleclutchinweasel Posted May 17, 2023 Author Share Posted May 17, 2023 "If you've ever burned out a clutch in a funeral procession..." Quote "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doubleclutchinweasel Posted May 18, 2023 Author Share Posted May 18, 2023 "If your cable provider doesn't realize it..." Quote "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doubleclutchinweasel Posted May 18, 2023 Author Share Posted May 18, 2023 If socializing with your co-workers always costs you the job... Quote "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mowerman Posted May 18, 2023 Share Posted May 18, 2023 OK I saw something a couple of weeks ago. I forgot to mention, didn’t think it was important until we started bringing this up 69 road runner other side of the highway interstate 80 had a tow hitch, pulling some sort of a trailer. It wasn’t paying that much attention. All I could think about was OK that’s the first time I’ve ever seen a 69 road runner with tow hitch nowadays if I do see one it’s all cleaned up and they want $90,000 for it lol Bob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doubleclutchinweasel Posted May 18, 2023 Author Share Posted May 18, 2023 1 hour ago, mowerman said: OK I saw something a couple of weeks ago. I forgot to mention, didn’t think it was important until we started bringing this up 69 road runner other side of the highway interstate 80 had a tow hitch, pulling some sort of a trailer. It wasn’t paying that much attention. All I could think about was OK that’s the first time I’ve ever seen a 69 road runner with tow hitch nowadays if I do see one it’s all cleaned up and they want $90,000 for it lol Bob I bought a '79 Trans Am once that had a trailer hitch on it. I left it on just because it looked so out-of-place. There used to be a green late-70s Camaro here in town with a home-made hood scoop on it that pulled a boat to the lake regularly. Saw it at the dock all the time. I guess you do what you have to! You just might be... Quote "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post doubleclutchinweasel Posted May 18, 2023 Author Popular Post Share Posted May 18, 2023 "If you're using a car cover as a fitted bed sheet..." 2 1 Quote "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post 70mackMB Posted May 18, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted May 18, 2023 If you have a Mack bulldog on the hood of your pick-up! You may be........... .....Hippy 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mowerman Posted May 19, 2023 Share Posted May 19, 2023 11 hours ago, doubleclutchinweasel said: I bought a '79 Trans Am once that had a trailer hitch on it. I left it on just because it looked so out-of-place. There used to be a green late-70s Camaro here in town with a home-made hood scoop on it that pulled a boat to the lake regularly. Saw it at the dock all the time. I guess you do what you have to! You just might be... My God, you sound like you live here just north of Reno I saw a late model Cadillac towing a utility trailer while back but I’ve probably mentioned before about this place that did not surprise me mobile homes and broken cars. Lots of them here.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RowdyRebel Posted May 19, 2023 Share Posted May 19, 2023 I seem to recall an episode of the Dukes of Hazzard where the Duke boys had a trailer hooked up behind the General Lee. Now I'm gonna have to break out the DVD's & have a marathon binge-watching session to try to find the episode...🤦♂️ 1 Quote When approaching a 4-way stop, the vehicle with the biggest tires has the right of way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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